The Incredible Shrinking Budget Cut

So those budget cuts that were first going to be a hundred billion, then seventy, then forty? Well, now they are down to 0.35 billion. With a deficit of one thousand, six hundred billion, we have managed to cut 0.35 billion.

But I love my mocha latte!

Two things spring to mind, one for each side of the aisle:

1) Are you serious, John Boehner? You guys were going to roll up your sleeves and really do the 'hard' work of cutting the budget, and this is what you managed to accomplish? If we scaled the federal budget to the size of a household budget, you've managed to cut out approximately one cup of coffee a month.

2) In light of all the Democratic yowling about the agony of these cuts, I am forced to conclude that the Democrats are even less serious about fiscal restraint than the Republicans (if such a thing can be imagined).

My, what a big block you have!

Two saviors have sprung forth, each with even less credible plans to save us all. Paul Ryan, who we are assured is a serious man, looks at our vast military establishment and can't see a thing worth cutting. I mean, of course we need twelve nuclear-powered supercarriers to the rest of the world's one. What kind of crazy moron would think otherwise? Barack Obama, meanwhile, wants to win the future, and remember kids: you can't win the future without WTF. Talking big, Barry tells us he is going to reduce the deficit over the next decade by FOUR HUNDRED BEEELLION DOLLARS, which sounds like a lot until you realize that even if our fearless leaders had managed to cut that amount in one year, they'd only have reduced this year's deficit from 1.6 trillion to 1.2 trillion. The talk of responsibility is just a fig leaf anyway; if you go look at the man's plan, most of it is wasting money on dumbassery. Case in point: the 'Build' section features the oooh-scary graph to the left, showing that the Chinese have a much bigger colored block that we do, and are thus spending much more money on 'infrastructure' than we are, and thus WE WILL ALL SUCCUMB TO THE YELLOW PERIL. Do you know what the Chinese are building with all that infrastructure spending, kids? Gigantic empty cities in the middle of nowhere. Gosh, it's almost as if all that stuff Friedrich Hayek wrote about governments being incapable of allocating resources efficiently is actually true or something.

The other fun thing about the President's plan is the new variety of semantic chicanery in which he indulges. Barry says he achieves two-thirds of his savings via spending cuts, not tax hikes. Which is true, if by spending cut you mean tax hike. As Paul Krugman will tell you, the President's plan calls the reduction and elimination of tax credits and subsidies "spending cuts," which means that if your taxes go up, rejoice and be glad, for you have partaken of a spending cut.

Rand Paul proposed cutting five hundred billion this year alone, so he is of course a wild-eyed maniac out to destroy America. Lord knows taking the deficit from 1.6 trillion to 1.1 trillion is just completely batshit crazy. What's not crazy is fighting three wars while sending robots to Mercury. That's the picture of sanity.

Here's the truth- the budget will not be balanced again for a very long time, and if it is, it won't be on purpose. It'll be like it was in the late 1990s, when a booming economy swelled the federales' coffers and they immediately started salivating on how they might spend the money.

As for the dueling Paul Ryan/Barack Obama plans, I think they will meet in the middle and agree not to cut defense or entitlements. That's probably the prudent, level-headed option.